Saturday, June 18, 2016
Optimistically Pessimistic Post about Everything and Nothing...
Today I feel strange. Not bad, not good...just odd. I am feeling cautiously optimistic, yet tragically pessimistic at the same time. There is a chasm of disparity in me. I want to risk, yet am petrified into inactivity...I want to write, yet I fear what might come out. I laid in my bed...just laid there...not awake, not asleep...adrift in the in-between twilight of consciousness. I want to DO, but can't. I want to feel...but not sure how...I want to try. I could cry...but why? I could also laugh...same question though, why? Ambiguity rules me today. I am yes and no, black and white, happy and sad, good and evil...realistic and abstract...I scream in my head...I laugh in my soul...tormented and afraid...I wait to be consumed...help me...I seek validation, yet do not care what you think...torn into a million pieces, set afire...I do not burn...I love...yet I cannot...I hate...yet I cannot...I want...yet I do not...anachronism abounds...I belong here...yet the past owns me...the future is assured...today, tomorrow and yesterday crash into one another...a blur of color and confusion...I am and cannot possibly be...I exist...but do I really?
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4 comments:
This is a great post. Many times I've experienced similar feelings; not happy, not sad, etc. and yet, never expressed it so openly.
Good write !
Fran
A perfect combination of sun and moon...at least you understand now why these feeling are... a full sun and a full moon coming together on the 20th will definitely bring these feelings about. You are an amazing writer. Love this post...love the expression!
Oh I forgot to sign my comment above!! It's Heather...Heather Asher...my magickal name is Liahona. Blessed Be!
thank you all for the positive comments. It makes me happy to know that people still read my stuff and that it is not just wasted space.
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