Sexual maturity and the foods we eat

Let me preface this post by putting in a disclaimer:  I am not a Doctor, nor am I a scientist.  I am nothing more than an individual who is talented at research and forming an educated opinion.  I don't know if the linkage is legitimate or imagined, but, I would think that it is a very strange coincidence if it is not linked.  

I have been doing a bit of reading today and have come across an interesting hypothesis.  All our lives we have been taught that you are what you eat.  The startling idea that formed with that thought and a conversation with a friend, led me to hypothesize that perhaps there is a definitive link between the food we are feeding our kids and sexual maturity.  I know it sounds a little crazy, but let me explain the link. 

The population of the world is creating a strong demand for meat to feed it.  When the population was moderate, there was not a strong demand.  Many families raised livestock--cows, pigs, and chickens--with the sole purpose of feeding their families.  During this time, it took the calendar, and patience to get the animals to the right size and weight to make them ready for slaughter.  There was no feeding growth hormones or force feeding (other than goose for  foie gras, but that is not what I am talking about) to induce a fattening effect.  Quite simply, a farmer (or hand, or kids) would let the cows, goats, and sheep feed off the grass that grew naturally, toss seed to chickens (or let them scratch their own), and feed the pig leftovers.  As a child I can remember doing all of those (except the cows, goats and sheep...townships frowned on having them).  We had a bucket that all of the plate scrapings and leftovers went into all day.  After it was full, we would "slop the hogs".  The chickens we would let scratch their own food and supplement that with egg shells and seed.  When they were large enough, we would take the pigs to the slaughter house and we would kill the chickens.

In today's world, things are a bit different.  The life of a livestock farmer has really gone by the wayside.  People still raise chickens, but they feed them engineered food that makes them grow faster than natural and give them an antibiotic solution with growth hormone to prevent illness and  get them to lay eggs faster.  Industrial chicken houses have sprouted up all over where many of the chickens are kept in cages that are one foot square or in large warehouses. The cocktail of growth hormones that are given to these birds, causes them to grow at two to three times their normal rate and often cause the animals to develop musculature that their body cannot support. [http://www.foodispower.org/chickens-raised-for-meat/] Cows and pigs are generally treated to the same type of cocktail resulting in animals aging faster than nature intended. 

I discuss all of that to get to the point.  If we are feeding our children these animals that have been treated with all of these growth hormone and muscle building materials, could it really be that far of a stretch to assume that these same chemicals could be effecting our children?  Since the 1800's the age for sexual maturity (described as menarche for females and ejaculatory capability in males) has been declining.  In the 1800's girls were not having their first periods until an average of 17.  Today that number has dropped considerably to 12 years.  Boys in the 1800's usually did not gain ejaculatory capability until 16, but today 14 is typical.  At first glance, better medical care, better nutrition, and genetics play a role, but the growth hormones do also have an affect on human growth and development. [http://www.livestrong.com/article/98816-effects-growth-hormones/] 

As a result of the younger sexual maturity, teen pregnancies become a problem.  It is true that in today's world, condoms and sexual education, have both slowed the problem, but it does still exist.    [http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db89.pdf]  In the referenced document, it shows first an increase in teen pregnancies followed by a gradual decline.  This increase coincides with the use of growth hormones in food animals as well as a shift in cultural norms.  In the 1940's to about the 1960's, many families were very strict with regard to discussion about sexuality.  Often the only sex education one would get was on their wedding night.  In the 1960's many of the taboos were lifted with the idea of sexual liberation.  Many people were experimenting with sex in that time period.  On to the 1980's when HIV/AIDS made it's debut.  This ushered in a new era of sexual awareness which extends into today. 

I remember as a teen, we had a sex ed class that in retrospect was a laughable attempt at trying to make kids that had already become sexually mature, to understand the changes in their bodies.  When I was in high school, most of the boys had all the physical characteristics of sexually mature adults, some had some characteristics and very few (including me) had none at all.  Along with the stigma of being a "late bloomer", those of us that were late would often have to deal with bullying.  Our bodies still retained a good deal of the feminine quality that disappears when a boy enters puberty.  (Bullying is another topic for another post)

I believe that with the kids maturing sooner, it becomes imperative that a clinical sex ed class should be taught in the first year of middle school (the 6th grade).  With clinical education, ready availability of condoms and birth control pills, and parental involvement, we can teach our kids sexual responsibility and consequences before it becomes too late. 

Are we people or SHEEPLE?

I know I have been down his road before but, I cannot help but to revisit the topic.  Today, I was having a conversation with my sister about technology.  Very broad topic with some very interesting possibilities, and very scary possibilities.  Starting at the beginning of my memories, I have always had a major fascination for how things work.  Not just gadgets, but living things.  One Christmas, my parents (really my mom, because dad really did not do a lot of the family stuff...that's another story for another day) got me a science set.  This set had a real microscope, jars of formaldehyde (yup...formaldehyde), implements for dissecting, tweezing, slide preparation, various dying chemicals (methylene blue, phenolphthalein, and some others), a real Bunsen burner, and test tubes.  I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  If I had only had the internet back then, who knows what kind of mad scientist I could have become.  I often would take frogs (toads actually) and dissect them to watch how the heart worked...how long it would take to die, etc...That was real intellectual curiosity (as well as a marker for sociopathy [http://www.crimemuseum.org/crime-library/early-signs]--and I have more than a few of them).  Early on I knew that I was nothing like any of the kids I knew.  They could not understand my thirst for knowledge.  If I had a curiosity about a topic, it was not unusual for me to sit in a library (keep in mind this was pre-internet) and read everything I could get my hands on.  Typically I would start at one topic and end up at some other seemingly unrelated topic.  It really is no surprise that I fell into the wonder of the internet.  Now instead of having to go to the library, I could literally read anything I wanted to from my own house (when computers and internet were new, they were very expensive and very slow, so most homes did not have one, and those that did could rarely afford more than one).  As computers became affordable, I would come to acquire more than one.  I would often take old antiquated (3-4 years old) computers and disassemble them and reassemble them just to understand how they worked.  I was enthralled by them (a trait that has endured the years [20 to be exact]).  Which brings me to the topic I meant to write about.

We have too much access to information today.  There, I said it.  It is true if you think about it.  If there is a minor earthquake in equatorial Brazil (read that as rainforests), the entire world knows about the event in less than 5 minutes.  Soon after that the news stations (the talking heads) are all talking about the potential repercussions of that quake.  Seriously, it is that quick, and that is where the problem lies.  When the internet was new, pages were static and informational.  There was no commenting on a topic...no satirical websites.  Nearly all of the information was factual and not subject to questioning (as they were mostly written by collegiate professors or students experienced in documenting references).  Most people did not have an opportunity to create webpages because it was not yet possible.  Soon after came the interactive web.  This meant that people could comment on pages though still most still could not create their own, so the integrity of the internet was still, for the most part, intact.  Then came the immersive net.  This is the internet we know today.  Anybody can now create webpages or effect the populace by making posts on blog sites, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the myriad of other instant publishing services.

The history is there for anyone that cares to research it.  The point of my post is to bring light to the idea that we, as citizens of the 21st century, have too much access to information.  If one steps back and looks at trending information, it is possible to predict what might happen in the future.  For example, the incident in Ferguson.  It started with a few [black] people crying of the indignity that poor young kid that was killed by a [white] police officer.  A few prominent people (that we made prominent BTW) started making accusations and offering sound bytes to the masses (via internet and television) which flamed that little spark of indignation into this huge media meltdown over racial iniquity.  One or two lonely voices brought up that the "poor kid" was known to be a troublemaker that had a lengthy criminal record.  Those few were drowned by the rest of the media hype.  One only needed to log into Facebook or some other social network to see the result of the media fanning the fire.  Many folks bough into the hype without looking at all the facts and instead jumped on their virtual surfboards to ride the wave.  One only need type any news story into a search engine to see how it works.

This is our problem.  The internet [and other communication venues] have grown so fast that we have had no time to develop ways to teach our kids not to believe everything they read on the internet.  I think that all kids from preschool should be taught that the internet is a great way to learn just about anything, but that they need to be cautious about stories purported to be FACT.  They should all be taught how to think critically and to look at all sides of an argument [or story] before deciding to believe what is written.  A very powerful demonstration might be the creation of a webpage by the instructor to show the kids that not everything on the net is not true.  One of my college instructors early in my academic career taught us that before reading anything in print, listening to anything recorded, or getting an opinion from anyone, to put on your "SKEPTICALS" and really examine what you are consuming.  Just because "everyone knows", does not make it a fact.  As a result, I rarely take any opinion as fact until I have researched it and know all sides.  Then and only then, will I make a judgement as to the validity of an argument.

Another way I think we (as people of the 21st century) can help mitigate this problem, is to have students learn cause and effect.  When the sun goes down, the temperature drops causing a chill in the air.  If A happens, then B might happen, unless C causes D which will result in E.  I know it seems complicated, but if we were to think through all of the decisions made on bad information, then we might have decided that the risks outweighed the potential benefits.  If G W Bush had been made to prove that WMD were indeed there, we might not have gone to war with Iraq (this time).  If the FBI had shared intelligence with CIA and NSA then perhaps, 9/11 might not have happened and we would not have gone to war with Afghanistan.  If we (people of the UN countries) had not gone to war, then perhaps the economy would not have collapsed (worldwide).  Many ways to see in retrospect, that decisions we make on minimal or incomplete data, can result in catastrophic consequences.

In closing, I would stress to the parents and educators of the world, to please, please, teach critical thinking and practice cause and effect scenarios with your students and children.  By arming our progeny with tools to be skeptical and investigate, we can give them the power to make good decisions and not fall into the "SHEEPLE" and "LEMMINGS" we are today.  Good information makes good choices.

Technology or Bust

Recently, I have been lurking on FB and Craigslist, just for something to do...I have discovered a great travesty (or is it shame) that there are hundreds of thousands of people craving the attention of another person, no matter how remote.  Let that sink in for a minute...

Our greatest achievement (our, meaning the human race) is also our greatest downfall.  I was born in the late 60's.  We had 3 channels on TV, a long distance call cost a fortune, video games had not been invented yet, and the calculator was called and adding machine and was huge.  In the last 30 years, humans have created the largest, most extensive information and communication system that we could have ever dreamed of.  Television has expanded and created niche channels that number in the thousands.  Music, movies, and TV shows are now streamed to any number of devices.  Communication is virtually instantaneous.  If something tragic happens overseas, the world knows every detail of the situation within a few minutes, and the talking heads will argue about the significance of it within an hour. 

Yet, despite this massive information exchange system, there are more people than ever before suffering from depression, anxiety and isolationism.  Why is that?  My guess is that people have gotten used to the anonymity and freedom to express their innermost opinions without repercussion.  We have lost the ability to communicate on a personal level.  Many times have I wondered what would happen if all of a sudden, the web, cable systems, satellite systems, and electrical grid had a catastrophic failure.  What would it be like to the folks that have had instant information and communication all of their lives, to suddenly have nothing but the printed word, candle light, and wood fires to cook and warm with?  I believe that in placing all of our information completely on silicone chips and digital hard disks, that we might be setting ourselves up for a mighty failure.  Think of a time when you went to a grocery store.  Your order came to $10.56.  You gave the cashier $11.01 but she forgot to put in the $.01 and had absolutely no clue how much change she is supposed to give you.  In another vein, you write a page of instructions in script and hand it to your teenager expecting them to complete the tasks listed.  The teenager looks at you like you handed over a page of hieroglyphs.  As a concerned parent, you look at your kid's chat log to see what they are talking about.  All you can see is a bunch of letters assembled in such a way that you cannot understand what they are saying. 

As I write this, one might think that I am wholly against technology.  Quite the contrary actually.  I am very about technology.  I have 2 different college degrees, both firmly entrenched in technology and lack just 4 classes from a masters.  My concern is that we have let our children (grandchildren) to get lazy.  Instead of teaching them in school how to multiply, divide, add, or subtract, they teach how to use a calculator.  Gone are the days of parents quizzing kids in unexpected places--What is 9x6?  Instead we have zombies that stare at a screen, type "21st century hieroglyphs", and have these odd things hanging from their ears. 

Instead of teaching script, keyboarding is now taught.  My nephews and kids can all touchtype without looking at their hands, but they cannot read cursive nor sign their name in cursive.  I am not saying that script is absolutely necessary to human development, but it does teach our kids variation and creativity.  My cursive looks nothing like my siblings, yet we can still read it.  We learned individuality, creativity, and variational thinking at the same time we learned to write cursive.  It is a shame that art is being lost to the ages.

As parents of "21st century technogeeks", we are falling behind our kids in tech, while we retain our creative and innovative thinking.  This leads to a very large gap in understanding between generations.  It really is no wonder that kids roll their eyes when you ask a tech question or have a hard time understanding how to use that stupid phone--which incidentally is many times more powerful than the orbiter that landed on the moon. 

I guess my point is to move forward technologically, but also scream to the masses that we should not allow ourselves or our progeny to forget/never learn how to do math, read cursive, and write cursive.  The irony is that I cannot remember the last time I had to write anything longhand, but I absolutely know that I can should the need arise.  I also know, without thinking that $.45 is the change. 

Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas??

I keep seeing this all over the net...every year the same thing...well I take offense.  Why?  Because I am not Christian...and I believe in equality for all...not that I disrespect your God or your beliefs, quite the opposite...I say happy holidays because I believe you have the right to believe what you choose.  I will never force my goddess or god or faith on anyone...saying Merry Christmas to me is the equivalent of saying you MUST believe in my version of the holiday Christmas and no other...truth is that there are many different holidays from thanksgiving to Christmas...for some it is Kwanzaa, Hannakuh, or in my case, Yule.  They are all equally important to the people that believe...I will never exclude your holiday because I don't believe...if you say to me Merry Christmas, I will respond Happy Holidays though I don't celebrate "Christmas", because I validate all religions and their belief structure...people are letting things go out of control with Christianity...the Christmas that most folks celebrate bears no resemblance whatsoever with the actual event.  Christmas is actually a pagan festival celebrating the end of the dark and renewal of the new...by bringing in a fir tree, we celebrate life renewal and the coming of the light as well as the end of the dark season...the evergreen is a symbol that life will begin anew...days start to get longer and though the cold intensifies, it is a reminder that warmth will return...Gift swapping is actually way out of proportion as well...it used to be a token symbol that reminds the person receiving the gift, that I think of you and recognize that thought with a simple gift...this year and all years hence will be celebrated by me with the bringing in of a fir branch, burning it in the fireplace with my Yule log as a symbol that I recognize the coming warmth and I will pass to those I care about a simple, probably home made gift that says, I love you and think of you in this renewing of life...may you prosper in the coming light...

That being said, please take no offense at me saying Happy Holidays, because I do care about what you believe and I cherish that right...but I also demand that same respect...

To all that give a damn, Happy Holidays...all of them...

Stop Wasting Taxpayer Money

I am sick of the GOP wasting taxpayer money to sue, impeach, or repeal Obama.  The simple truth is that Mr. Obama has done more for the minorities (Gays, Blacks, All Manner of Aliens) than any other president.  By passing "Obamacare", he has made sure that millions of people that would have never qualified for health insurance due to pre-existing conditions, can get an affordable health insurance.  By standing up to Congress (read that as Teabagging Republicans), he has eased the fear of 4 million individuals that they would be deported leaving their children (American Citizens) to the welfare and foster care systems by allowing them to apply for work cards and SS numbers so that they could stay here, pay their taxes and keep their children at home, where they belong.  The Repubs, again, are threatening to sue or impeach our president for doing the right thing by saving money on deportation (of aliens in the country for more than 10 years), welfare/foster care costs, and increasing the coffers with 4 million new tax paying individuals.  How can they even justify the thought of suing the President (which I believe they cannot until he is out of office) or wasting millions of American Taxpayer money to impeach him?  Every President, both Democrat and Republican, have exercised their Executive Order Privilege while in office, and yet, none of them were sued or impeached (Except President Clinton, who ironically had the highest favorability rating of any...ANY President in the history of America, and still enjoys a very high popularity).  How can they sit in their offices, saying "no" to any Democratic Party Initiative that would benefit the people for which they were elected to represent?  Incidentally, has anyone noticed the makeup of the Congress??  A majority of middle-aged white men...name one state where the population is made up of a majority of middle-aged white men (other than Washington, D.C.). 

I have a solution for Congress (Dems and Repubs).

1.  Drop their retirement fund into the national coffers and make them all pay into the same Social Security  system as the rest of us do.
2.  Lose their lifetime health insurance and put them in the same healthcare system as the rest of us.
3.  Pay them a small stipend ONLY while they are in Washington performing their elected duty, otherwise, they work a regular job like the rest of us.
4.  Set term limits of 8 years, just like the President.  Congress was never meant to be a full time occupation, but a civic duty.
5.  When they are done in Congress, they no longer get paid as Congress-persons. additionally, the President/V. President also would receive no pay after their presidencies are completed though they would still have Secret Service protection for 20 years.  Any information they might have had would be obsolete in that time.
6.  Guarantee a college education to anyone (citizens/tax payers) that wants one-FREE

The result of these actions would kill the deficit, fix Social Security, fix healthcare, make Congress functional again, make Congress actually mirror their constituencies (demographically) and make the USA a strong fighting economy again.  We cannot afford to continue like we are.  The rich are getting richer, the poor, poorer and the middle class is all but gone.  Young people today are saddled with hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt from schooling.  That doesn't make sense.  The situation is that there are not enough high paying jobs to allow college grads to pay their debt, which puts them into default.  Their defaulting only adds to the deficit and creates more national debt and hinders the economic growth by limiting spending. 

We cannot continue to expect our economy to recover with Congress doing nothing but fighting the President and wasting taxpayer money.  We cannot continue to expect our college graduates to pay their debt and grow the economy by spending.  We cannot expect our Social Security system or Health Care system to be overhauled while the Congress has no stake in it being fixed. 

amazing world we live in

Tonight I was on FB (surprise there), chatting with friends.  During the course of the conversation, a couple of topics came up--sex in a relationship, and artistic talent.  Very odd conversations but I have very strong views about both topics.  The original question about sex was "why is sex important in a relationship?"  The answer is quite complex, though I gave it a quick and dirty answer--it is FB after all and we wouldn't want me to get in trouble, right?  The answer I gave is that sex is supposed to be the physical representation of an emotional bond...but the answer is much more complex than that.  When you are having sex, at no other time in a relationship are you more vulnerable and open to your partner.  You are not only open physically, but you also leave yourself open to judgement, criticism, and comparison.  Yes, we do tend to compare sex with A vs. sex with B--it is in our nature.  Unless you are really drunk (and shouldn't be having sex anyway), are a prostitute (very dangerous!!), or are just a hit 'em and quit 'em kind of person, sex can be the most intimate thing you can share with another person.  Personally, I do not think sex and emotions should go together.  Emotions are messy and squishy and...aw hell...even someone as jaded as me has felt the love while having sex...it happens.  I still think sex should be anonymous and free of emotion and Love should be only for the person you care about deeply...if you happen to have sex with that person, then you have hit the holy grail of relationships.  But honestly, sex can get mechanical and repetitive unless there is a variety or you are really creative, even if you love the person. 

OK, OK...I hear you...I am not saying that one should not strive for love and sex together, I am just saying that it should not be an expectation.  I have loved many people and had sex with many (oh god) but have only loved one that I happen to have had sex with.  I am open to it occurring again, but still not expecting anything.

The second topic was about artistic talent...I don't think of myself as especially talented.  I know others that can create rings around me, yet, many say that I am very talented.  Sure I have the penchant for having the right word at the right time and am kind of a Nazi with certain words (NU-clear and AUNT -as opposed to ant).  I have been known to paint a picture without a drop of paint, just plain ordinary words organized on paper (please sub whatever media you like here--paper, napkin, computer screen, etc...).  Is that a talent?  I really do not think so...I learned it the same way that everyone else did (or should have, as it were), in school.  I feel like the word talent means something that is a natural ability.  There are folks out there that can hear a piece of music and can play it back by ear without ever having had musical training.  That is talent.  Artists that have never gotten formal training (think college-we all finger-painted) but can create a portrait in one minute and a half or 3D street art that is really terrifying to walk on (you really feel like you will fall off the precipice)--those folks have talent.  I feel that any person, if they really slow down and think about what they want to say, can write.  Anyone.  A thing that I tend to do (or try to anyway) is to explain a feeling/mood/color/item/place without naming it directly, to a person that has never seen/felt/touched/been there.  Using this method one can say that they love a person without ever uttering the word love...his presence ignites a fire in my body that no water can ever quench, but should he walk away unrequited, I shall fall to ash...it really is quite simple...

The next time someone asks you a question like the ones above, step back, think about it, and then speak.  If you wish to have debate on any topic, please feel free to email me, and we will do just that...until the next time my brain itches, bye!

here we go again...

It is again that time of year when retailers begin selling 2 seasons away.  What?  Christmas shoppe already??  Yup.  And I fear it will become earlier and earlier until the eventual decision to not take it down at all.  The world is a mess right now.  We have a dysfunctional Congress, an unpopular President, high cost of fuel, runaway inflation ad nauseum...and people that need 4 months to buy the unnecessary stuff that retailers are telling our kids that they need.  It is ridiculous.  Halloween is not even upon us yet, almost 2 weeks out, and already we have Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving and Halloween retailing.  Why?  When did "Christmas" become the time for retailers to recoup their losses all year?  I remember as a kid the smell of pumpkin and the leaves as they fell from the trees in October.  Never did I see Christmas anything until the week before Thanksgiving.  Christmas was not about how much in debt you could get your parents in order to compete with the Joneses next door.  It was about taking the time to think of what someone likes or dislikes and choosing a token gift (either making it or buying it) to let them know you think of them.  The best Christmas I can ever remember was the year I got my see-n-say.  I was about 5 or so and saw the commercials on Saturday (cartoon day for those too young to remember) and really wanted one.  I never asked, but always when the commercial came on, my eyes lit up and my parents noticed.  I didn't ever get tons of gifts, but usually got a toy and some clothes, but I was always happy.  That Christmas when I opened up that see-n-say, I cried tears of joy because at that moment in time, there was nothing I wanted or needed to complete my happiness.  Another year, my mom sewed Christmas.  She and her best friend, literally decorated our plastic tree with homemade decorations that were sewn from used cloth.  Our gifts that year were very simple.  The boys got octopi and the girls got dolls.  That was it.  There was no money for the latest Atari or new bikes.  The fact that mom went out of her way to make these things meant the world to me.  Kids can be cruel though. 

My mom always loved Christmas time.  To her it was a time of family and love and cheer.   For me it was a time of torment.  Other kids in the school showing off all of the nifty things they got while all I had was an octopus.  The other kids noticed that we had nothing and usually made fun of us poor kids.  In my mind, it only cemented the idea that Christmas would never be to me what it was to most kids.  I revel in the idea of neat personalized gifts that are tokens of my love or feelings for the person.  I refuse to spend thousands of dollars to buy things for people I really don't like based on a calendar date.  Instead, I will make something or share something with the people that mean something to me.  They will know that the gift I give is from my heart and that I really thought about them.  My gift will have sentimental value where others might have monetary value.  Am I cheap?  No, I am not.  Give me a pretty leaf that made you think of me or share a digital picture of that time we did whatever...those things have substance and will last forever whereas these expensive cheaply made trinkets will not last the year.  I think everyone needs to watch the Grinch this year and remember what the season is really about.  It is about family and friends sharing their time here on earth, making memories,  and sharing memories of those passed.  So know that if you are my friend, you will likely not get anything more than a wish for happiness and prosperity, but know that the sentiment comes from my heart and not my wallet.

Does evil exist??

The simple answer to this question is no, it doesn't.  Before you get all riled up, let me explain why.  Humanity is made up of people, all of whom are somewhere on a behavioral spectrum from pure good all the way to pure evil...I use the term good and evil only to describe societally accepted extremes.  Most people will fall in the middle somewhere where there is both good and evil in equal or about equal measure.  If you look at a standard bell curve below, the 68% in the middle is where most people fall.  on either side of that middle section is 14% either side where a person can be more left than right and vice versa.  the remainder (at least for this essay) can be described as pure good or pure evil.  Keep in mind, this is all based on the scientific principal of standard deviation.  I am guessing that if one were to devise a survey with questions ranging from complete evil to complete good and ask these questions to a random sample, this deviation would be represented.   Again these questions would be based on accepted societal definition of good and evil acts.









Now that we have defined the populace, we can get to the meat of my assertion that evil does in fact, not exist.

The above bell curve applies to nearly anything you care to challenge as long as humanity is involved.  To prove my assertion, I am going to point out several situations that will require you the reader to think about your feelings of the scenario and rate it 1-10, with 1 being pure good and 10 being pure evil.  Keep in mind, I am not trying to change your mind about anything except the original premise.

1.)   You are on safari in Africa and are told by the guide that today there is a wedding in a village that you just happen to be visiting.  The bride in this wedding is a lovely young woman of 11 years, and the groom is a very well respected 45 year old in the village.  The bride will be the third wife of the groom.  Is that wedding good or evil?

2.)  In an Aboriginal tribe somewhere in the south Pacific, a ceremony of passing is being celebrated.  The deceased will be cooked and served to his descendants as is their custom.  The belief that consuming ones ancestor is to assure that their energy would continue to live in all of their relatives.  Is this act of reverence good or evil?

3.)That same Aboriginal tribe, before cooking their ancestor, removed a portion of his skin.  This skin was preserved and made into a drum skin.  This drum becomes a ceremonial summoner of the spirits of the ancestor during rituals.  Is this practice good or evil?

4.)  Deep in the Brazilian jungle exists a tribe of pygmy.  This day is a coming of age ceremony for a 9 year old girl that crossed over to womanhood by beginning menarche.  The girl is laid down and is sexually penetrated by all adult males (all males in or past puberty) that are not related to her to ensure that the essence of her mate (that was chosen for her) could enter her womb and allow for a successful carriage of offspring.  Is this ceremony good or evil?

For the purpose of argument, let us assume that each of these things are documented somewhere and are indeed factual situations. (I did just make them up for the purpose of illustration, but they could in fact exist)

The answer to all 4 questions is neither good nor evil.  The participants of each of these situations is doing what has been culturally expected of them.  It has been well documented that a number of places in the world (even today in the 21st century) marry their young girls off as soon as they reach menarche.  It is also not uncommon for young girls to be involved in the sex trade.  Not the same as a penetration ceremony, but similar in principal.  As for the other two, I could see a ceremonial reason to use a part of an ancestor or consumption of said ancestor.  I would think in the mind of the tribe, it would be a great honor to be consumed and used to make a drum so that my spirit would always have a place to go.

I guess the basis of this argument hinges on how much of a critical thinker you are and how rigid you are as far as morality is concerned.  Personally I feel that it would be wrong of me to judge any of the four groups based on some archaic form of morality that does not even apply to the subjects.  I feel that holding another to my standard of morality is inherently a negative prospect as the subjects have not experienced the things I have nor had the enlightenment that I have.  It would be akin to holding a lion responsible for a child charging into the pride and getting killed.  The lion did nothing it was not designed to do.  It viewed the small human as a threat and dealt with it accordingly.  We as a species need to step back and recognize our animal origins and remember that not too long ago (in the cosmic scale) we were not much more advanced than the lion and we killed far more quickly.

Now that I have explained a few things, let me put it into perspective.  Humanity strives to label things to put them into some sort of classifiable structure.  It is very hard for me to think of anyone that is pure evil or pure good.  Think for a second...if we never had any negative occurrences (in our own perspective) then we could not by definition recognize a good occurrence.  That is pretty much the only thing modern religion has gotten right (in my opinion).  Humanity is flawed...we will do wrong (perceived) and violate the accepted moral standard that is Christianity.

I believe that we are all a bit of everything.  We can be cold as ice one minute and warm and fuzzy the next.  We kill to survive (meat animals) and we kill to protect ourselves.  It is neither good nor evil as we are doing what we were designed to do.  Humanity is designed to be both good and evil (per our invented scale of morality).

So, as a recap, evil does not exist because we are doing what we were designed to do according to our own cultural norms and have arbitrarily assigned one extreme as evil and the other as good, when in reality the vast majority are somewhere in the middle of the bell curve.

Something to think about, huh?

Realization

There comes a time in a man's life when he must accept that the time for love has passed.  That is not to say that I need to give up...not at all...just that I should not expect miracles.  I keep getting myself into situations where the other guy is much younger than me and he really digs me...but then our age difference comes out in odd ways...he likes to smoke a bit...I don't...he likes to stay up all night...I can't...he likes hard music...I like top 40/80's...the reason I guess that i keep falling into this trap is that younger guys have more in common with me than guys my own age...I have learned over time that 40+ guys tend to be glued to the grind...seems that they have lost their will for adventure and new things...they rarely have any interest in computers (this is a must as I am a major technocrat)...I need my games and my assortment of devices...I do not do this to fit in (or not as it were)...it is a real genuine interest...there is nothing that I like more than to wipe a computer and install Linux/Hackintosh or some other random operating system just to see if I can...when I get tired of it, I tend to my Macs...but as a result, I am finding myself in the middle somewhere...too old for the guys that I share some commonality with and too young (minded anyway) for the guys my age...so what do I do??  I don't exactly live in the most populated place in the state...if i were a skunk, moose, deer, or any other northeastern animal, I would be all set...

This how I come to the conclusion that  just need to forget about trying to meet anyone...it is pointless...the last time I let my heart control, I got hurt in a bad way...the boy loved me and I genuinely loved him...but he could not allow himself to be seen loving me...so, it ended...and my heart broke...I was a mess for literally a year...had no desire for anyone or anything...cried for him on a regular basis...I used to stalk him on Facebook just to see that he was ok...and then I would get depressed because he was and I was not...Eventually the emotion chilled and I could again listen to Adele without blubbering every time I heard her play...and then I lost my mom...begin round 2 of my emotional demise...she was my saviour and champion...she was the one I could tell anything and never get judged for it...even if she thought it was wrong...she was the reason I had for getting out of bed some days...then she died and left me alone...for a while I was bereft of emotion at all...more computer than man...I could not feel anything...oh I could be melancholy and moody...but never could close the deal...think of like sneezing...I could get the AH just fine, but never the CHOO...then I started coming out of my shell and started liking this other guy...of course he was also way too young for me...but that never stopped me before...he liked me as well from what I could tell...then somewhere things went wonky...I am not going to blame the whole failure on him...but I will say that if he would have asked me to come with him to the moon, I would have gone...but he did not...instead he kept comparing himself to the other boy...anyway...over time, he seemed to drift away and me being who I am, I did nothing to stop it...Oh I felt pain...just not as deeply...I am still mourning my mom and learning how to CHOO...

So yeah...here I am...alone in my room...like I always am...wondering how to get fulfillment in my life...wondering how to get happy...wondering how to love again...or if I even can take it again...so for now, I am closing up shop...no more emotions and no more feelings...going to put them all away and pretend that I am completely fulfilled with my computers and my games...

How free is freedom??

I have been reading a post on Facebook today that has gotten me to thinking and to be honest, it made me quite upset...seems that there is a group in NYC (could literally be anywhere in the US though) of Muslim folks that had a parade to celebrate their heritage...folks have gone off the deep end over this event calling for "the pigs" to be sent home..."beheaded"..."hung"...and many other different but same ways to die or be deported along with calls to deport POTUS as well...

Now, I am an American citizen...I was born here and I love my country and our Constitution and the freedoms that it gives me...the same it gives all of those hurtful people on FB to say what they said with impunity...what I have a problem with is that these same folks who are utilizing their constitutional right to free speech to say what they feel about this event, are trying to strip the Muslim folk of their constitutional rights to freedom of religion, free speech, and freedom of assembly...think about it for a second...please feel free to substitute any group in the world...Westboro Baptist Church...the Church of LDS...the Republicans...Democrats...Gays...Blacks...Jews...and everybody would be up in arms about violating the constitutional rights of X group to express themselves...we cannot stand on the Constitution, use the freedoms that it guarantees to try to restrict or remove another group's rights because they go against what you believe...I am almost ashamed to be called an American with all of that nonsense...sure I don't believe in Allah, God, Jesus, Jehovah or whatever you name your god...I believe in treating others as I wish to be treated...allowing others the same liberties that the Constitution guarantees me...

Please do not get me wrong...I am not for any group that is controlled by fanaticism at all...in any way...I also do not agree with religion of any kind, bigotry, racism, sexism, or any other kind of -ism out there but I do respect your RIGHT to express your views on them...

The United Sates was built on the immigration of foreign folks...on the backs of immigrants, our nation was built...our industry, our farming, our cities...

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.” 

from the Statue of Liberty

 If it was good enough for them, it is good enough for me...

Out of my mind

Have you ever just had one of those days when you should never have opened your eyes?  When the passive aggressive behaviour gets so thick that you find it hard to see anything to be positive about except that bedtime is coming and thank god for doors??  I am so tired of feeling like crap, feeling like a visitor, and feeling like nothing that I might want matters...there are some days when I find it hard to WANT to climb out of bed...I go to sleep usually at around 3am...why?  because the only peace I can get is when everyone in the house is asleep or in their space for the night...I try so hard to keep the peace and to do things to make life easier for all and I never get recognition for any of it...the only thing I ever get recognized for is the one thing I DID NOT do...I am very nearly ready to walk away from all of it and find a new place to exist...existence is easy...living is hard...I really could care less about anything in my life right now...and existing in the constant negativity and passive aggressive atmosphere is killing me and my spirit...I used to think that I could do anything...now I don't even know why I ever thought I could or would even bother...it will not matter...not to me or anyone that I know...If you see me around...ignore me...I don't exist or matter....not to anyone...

dividing by zero

I am amazed by the folks around me that think that I am amazing.  People say things like "I wish I had 1/3 of your intelligence" or "you are so smart"...I don't see it...all I am is a person that likes to learn new things and am actually quite adept at it...there is really nothing special about that...on a daily basis, I find myself doing something that in retrospect, is highly stupid and I laugh out loud about it.  I have friends all over the country that will not allow anyone to work on their computer but me...keep in mind, some of these folks live 2,000 miles away...yet somehow, I always amaze them at how fast I knew what he issue was or how fast I discovered the problem, fixing it with a couple clicks of the mouse...I don't see that as amazing...any tech person worth their education can do it just as quickly and easily as me, yet I am the one they call...I wonder how much of it is my intelligence or learning...perhaps it could be the way that I try to make folks understand what I am doing and why it should be done...as an intellectual elitist (yes, I am aware, that comment will upset some folks), I have had many years experience trying to explain difficult and sometimes abstract concepts to people that have a hard time visualizing a cube without pen, paper, or an artifact to hold in their hand...my mom used to tell me that her friends all appreciated that I could explain anything without making them feel stupid...I continually spend time learning and researching things and have an ability to visualize relationships or how things relate to each other and the concept I am trying to explain...perhaps I just know how to treat a person like a person and have respect for others abilities...I am no genius (ok, so I might be), but I do realize that every person has a different set of experiences and knowledge...one might be a whiz at weaving or origami or any number of things that I wish I knew how to do...I guess it just comes down to respecting folks...I appreciate it when folks respect my knowledge and I will always return the favor...so maybe I am not dividing by zero after all...

Warts and all...

Having been on FB and other social networking sites, it is not hard to find somebody griping about something...their bf, gf, bff, politics, school, boss, or somebody else altogether.  It is the what we do not see that I am writing about today.  You see, every person you know has issues that they do not share with anyone, even you.  It is easy to forget that.  You might not know that person X has a spot on their lung that they are concerned about, or that person Y is going through a custody battle, or that person C is a caregiver for an ailing parent.  Not everyone shares all of their issues with the world, even in this day and age of instant communication.  We have become accustomed to sharing nearly every aspect of our lives with the masses, while secretly fighting our own personal battles.  Sometimes we get snarky to a friend or make an off-hand comment that can be the catalyst for an unintentional emotional rift to develop.  That funny little comment can be the straw that broke the camel's back, or in this case, the emotional tilting point.  I have some very close friends--many of whom I have known for decades.  I have also had the misfortune of both being the aggressor and the target of the aggression caused by invisible trauma that only the involved persons know about.  Today I had the misfortune of correcting a friend's grammar in a post--something I have done a million times before without consequence--and because I did not know that they were having a crisis day, I really upset that person.  This could have turned into a battle of the bitches, but thankfully it did not because after chatting a bit, I discovered what the problem was and felt like an ass, but was soon forgiven because that friend also realized that I did not know about it and that it was an innocent comment.  Our friendship will endure past this and all will be well (I hope) on the other end...

I did not write this to point at any specific person, nor to recommend walking on eggshells around everyone.  I wrote this to point out that we all have our demons and that sometimes, our demons like to get in the middle of things.  If we recognize that every snarky comment or harsh response is not a personal attack, then friendships will become stronger and that same thing that could almost destroy a beautiful friendship will help to keep it from breaking in the future.  Scarred flesh and bone is always stronger than undamaged.  I love all of my friends...and know they love me...warts and all.

something a little different...

This post I decided to do something a bit different...I decided to contrast my experiences with certain technologies...more specifically, Windows, MAC, Linux operating systems...I am not going to go too much into Android, iOS, or Win8 because frankly, I have never used anything but Android...but, if someone is willing to give me an iPhone (or iPod touch) or a Win8 phone, I would gladly delve into that arena as well..so for now, desktop/laptop OSes only. 

First on my list is the Windows machine.  It can be housed in just about any kind of case or configuration.  Therefore, it is a hard one to describe...other than to say that a huge percentage of the world uses it to get things done...most businesses run almost entirely (except for web-servers which are mostly Linux servers) on Windows platform.  Today (August of 2014), Windows 7 is the clear choice of OS with some die-hard WinXP fans still running the dinosaur...I even saw a Win98 machine the other day.  Windows Vista was almost as big a bust as Win2000 (not to say MS did not give it a hell of a try).   It was not because of the lack of features (Win7 is almost identical to Vista...minus the bugs that is) but rather because it was a radical change from hat Windows people were used to in WinXP.  Funny thing is that WinXP was just as radical a change and harbored just as much complaining.  Soon after all the driver issues were worked out, WinXP became the best selling and most widely used OS in the world (or at least the USA).

Next on my list is Linux.  Linux is a horse of a different color in that it is free...as in it is free to modify or change the source-code in any way that is desired with the simple rule that it must include the GNU license agreement.  That's it.  As for usability, there are apps for just about any task that a Win user might need but is slim on gaming.  That is not to say that there are no games, just that the mainstream has left out this niche market.  There are projects out there WiNE, Cedega, and Crossover that will allow the use of certain Win only programs (performance is not guaranteed) with a bit of tweaking.  As for how it looks, Linux seems to be following Windows for familiar design elements and to draw users from that market.  That is not to say that Linux looks like nor behaves like Windows as it clearly does not.  If you bring it to it's inner workings (minus all the fluff--read that as GUI) it behaves more like BSD which is to say like Unix...lost?  Just take my word for it or search G? for the answer to that question...I personally like the ability to make it look the way I want it to look while still being able to do what I need to get done...That being said, it is not my favorite OS.

For many years I preached the goodness and light that was Microsoft...then I went to school...Sure...MS machines are so easy to build (Linux will also run on any variation of any type machine from PPC to Intel) and will install anything with one click (got me into more trouble than I can relay here...)but for pure functionality, design, and purpose, MAC OSX wins it hands down.  Yeah yeah I know...Mac is sooo expensive, but I have a PPC G3 tower that will boot up even now...and run...sure software makers have abandoned support, but there are still people out there running OSX Tiger and yes even OS9...But I digress...OSX has only gotten better over time...no radical changes though many improvements for function...the dock is still there, the software installs the same as always, and the look of the windows have not changed throughout all the versions from Tiger all the way to Mavericks...OSX was engineered for graphics and audio processing and does a phenomenal job at it, but where I find that OSX shines is in gaming.  Yup, I said gaming.  I recently discovered gaming on my Mac.  The graphics processing power rival anything that Win or Lin could ever come up with and to top it all off, companies that have included Mac in their development are thriving.  Blizzard is one and EA Games is another that have consistently provided BOTH PC and Mac (though sadly still not Linux) supported games.  Most famously, the Warcraft franchise from Blizzard and The Sims (1, 2, and 3--soon to be 4) all run a Mac client.  Having played these games on both platforms, I find the Mac platform to be more stable and graphics to be more flowing than with Windows.  Windows also has some amazing games--Everquest franchise anyone?  While it did at one time have an original Everquest Mac client, it no longer supports anything but Windows clients. 

In summary, I like all three of the different types of OSes.  Each has benefit and potential to be the best...though if I had to choose one to promote, it would be OSX.  Not for simplicity or ease of use, but for design and function.  I like that OSX  does not try to re-invent the wheel with every new release nor does it try to be anything more than what it is...a great Graphic User Interface that just works.  Microsoft could take some pointers from Mac in that respect and both could use a bit more open-source loving like Linux, but dollar for dollar, OSX wins for me.

Perception vs Reality

Many times in life, I have been challenged.  Not because I do not see the same things others see, but because I see those things differently.  Typically in any situation, you could ask 10 people to witness a scene and they will all remember something different.  Why is that?  I believe the answer lies in a person's past experience and what is important to them.  If a person sees a particular event, the things that are relateable to that individual are going to make the most of an impression to them and therefore make that the most memorable part to them.  That is not to say that their perspective is skewed or even incorrect.  Many times I have commented on perspective and reality...each person's perception is their reality, more specifically.  If ten people see a robbery, not one pair will have seen the same thing...Let's say Person A is an English teacher and the robber uses poor grammar...that teacher might have seen what he was wearing, but the fact that he had horrible grammar was most relateable to Person A and therefore Person A might only remember the grammar.  Person B might work in retail somewhere and see mismatched clothing and think "how could they leave the house like that?"  The same principal can pertain to how people react to situations rather than events.  Humans tend to look to their past for cues on how to react to situations and events.  We take learned biases, personal experience, shared experiences, and relayed reactions all into consideration before reacting.  We cannot form a frame of reference for something we have not experienced either directly or indirectly.  I personally have never been to the moon, but from relayed experiences I can assume that it is cold, airless, and very low gravity.  I have been to the desert and know that it gets really cold at night despite the extreme hot temperatures during the day.  These are all examples of my perspective.  They are real to me because I give them weight.  I believe that alien cultures could exist.  Does that mean that ET exists?  Not at all.  It merely means that according to my learned behaviors, relayed experiences, personal experiences, and maybe educational learning, that it would be unlikely that we would be the only beings in the universe.  Therefore, my reality says that existence of humanity in the universe cannot possibly be singular and that similarly intelligence is not unique to us.

I know I delved into a bit of rhetorical thinking, but it does prove the point.  As you are reading this, you are comparing my viewpoint with your learned behaviors, relayed experiences, personal experiences, and maybe educational learning to see whether we feel the same way about the material. 

I am a critical thinker.  You can tell me something all day long and truly believe it, but until I can validate the conjecture for myself through study, relayed experiences or personal experiences, I will treat the material as suspect.  That does not mean that the material is any less valid to you...just that in order for me to believe it, I need a bit of research and examination to draw a conclusion.

This is my perception of reality. 

A treatise on morlity, God, and murder

15 July 2014

·      If God exists, is murder immoral?

·      Can those who do not believe in God be highly moral people?

·      Can people who practice different religions agree about how to resolve a moral disagreement?

In order to answer these questions, I need to fully understand each part of the question.  While reading the questions, several other questions come to the front:

1.     Does God exist?

2.     What exactly is murder?

3.     What does Moral mean?

4.     Can morality be based on other criterion than the belief in God?

5.     On that premise, can persons with differing religious belief resolve a moral dispute?

The new questions develop a new path of understanding by first delving into what a moral is.  A moral is defined as a societal code of conduct based on religious, familial, or societal standards applied to individual behavior, over the course of time (http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/morality-definition/).  In this definition the existence of God is not contemplated, nor is it necessary, to answer the question.  In our world there are societies of individuals that have developed vastly different moral standards.  In the USA, for example, morality tends to be based on a religious platform and applied to all persons in the form of Laws.  In the USA it is illegal to “murder” someone though as yet I have not defined the term, therefore, by default it is immoral.  If one were to take a more Eastern view, it might be discovered that what we as a society find objectionable, is perfectly in-line with their culture and customs and therefore, not immoral.  So morality has no specific meaning other than that it is the cultural norm or custom as applied to individual behavior over time.

The second phase of the question comes to whether God exists. This question has plagued scholars for centuries and is not likely to be resolved any time soon.  In that light, one should look to their own belief structure to decide for themselves if God exists.  For this essay, I will illustrate both viewpoints.   Utilizing that method of breakdown and examination, I will determine what a moral is to me and how fluid the decisions can be based on the context of a given situation.

For the third part of the question, I will think about what murder is and how the term came to be what we as a people have come to believe it means.  Taking the life of another is a very big decision and should not be done lightly.  There are many conditions where the taking of a life would be necessary to ensure the safety of my family or myself.  Is it morally acceptable?  I think it really depends on the circumstance.  Would I lie in wait in a park for a jogger to kill?  Likely, I would not.  Would I kill the person trying to kill the jogger?  Probably so…but why would the second scenario be okay when the first is not? 

We learned earlier that morality is an artificial construct of societal learning applied to similar situations. Due to the herd mentality of humanity, I believe that morality can be a useful tool if exercised in the proper context.  In the above scenario of the jogger in the park, it would be morally wrong to kill the jogger but not the mugger.  In that case, I have seen that the jogger is in danger, looked to my morals for guidance and reacted in a way that would be societally acceptable.  But is it morally acceptable?  In my own mind, I would feel remorse for killing anyone—deserved or not.  I would not, however, feel the killing as unjust.  My reasons have nothing to do with legality or even a sense of right or wrong, but rather have a root in my religious viewpoint.  I am not a Christian.  I do not believe in the God of the Bible.  Do I have a moral code?  Yes, I do.  My moral code is based in the natural cycle of life and what it means to be human.  I believe that if all creatures do no harm to others, except when a reaction is required to counter the action of another, which would result in harm to my self, or family, then it is just.  My belief is that all things deserve to live and exist in a natural balance.  To be more precise, good and evil, light and dark, happy and sad all need to co-exist in balance.  I cannot fault the lion for killing the antelope as it is in his nature to kill the antelope to feed himself and his pride.  

Perspective and reasoning separate humanity from animals.  Perspective is the way a situation or event is seen, judged and reacted to or not, based on the experience of the perceiver.  Reasoning is the decision to react or not to a perceived event or situation.  If I do this, then that will happen—based on past experience.  With this information, we then can logically decide if the reaction is warranted by the action.

Assuming that I am Pagan, Buddhist, or any other non-Christian religion and you are Christian, can we resolve a moral dilemma?  I believe we can.  Morality, we said, is a societal structure based on cultural norms and that morality is independent of the existence of the belief, or lack thereof, in God.  Leaving religion out of the equation results in utilization of our perception and reasoning to help us make the moral call.  By relying on past experiences, in our perception, (learned individually and via a group) we can decide if a reaction to a situation is moral or not.  For example, we are in Mexico where it is customary to pay-off a police officer to prevent arrest.  In the United States it is not only immoral but also illegal.  In Mexico, bribes are a cultural norm.  Based on the context of the situation, bribery would not be immoral if I were in Mexico, it would be expected. 

The last apple to fall from the tree of discussion is the one of murder.  What is murder?  In Western culture, murder is perceived as the causing of the death of another either directly or indirectly.  In some Eastern cultures, the causing of a death is not always murder.  Recently in the news, we have heard of women in the Middle East that have been executed for adopting western views on education, civil rights, ownership, and adultery.  Not only is it not immoral that they kill their family member, honor demands that they do.  Traditionally speaking, murder is not as cut and dry as it seems.  Moral dilemma such as abortion, euthanasia, assisted suicide and brain death have all resulted in moral conflict.  Some feel that abortion is the killing of a human before it is born others feel that the fetus is nothing more than a parasitic cell structure until it is able to exist outside the host.  Euthanasia in some cultures (Japan specifically) is considered a way to regain family honor by removing, honorably, the cause of the dishonor.  Assisted suicide and right to die advocates claim that it is our basic right to decide whether we live or die and no person or jurisdiction has the right to dictate otherwise.  We all know of cases where the patient is brain dead but still biologically functioning.  Do we allow them to starve or do we keep feeding the living corpse forever?  What does your moral compass say?

The answer to the original question therefore becomes convoluted and distorted by reason and intellect.  I personally do not believe in God, but I do have a deity.  Do I think murder is immoral?  Not always.  There can be a rational reason to commit murder (in the defined sense) just as there are reasonable arguments for or against just about anything that is generally considered immoral.  The question of whether it is immoral to murder becomes why did the murder take place?  Was the murdered trying to murder the murderer?  Did the killer perceive danger to himself or his family?  Did the killer believe in God?

The topic of morality is very broad and cannot possibly be covered conclusively in a short paper essay.  However, a general idea can be gleaned from our past experiences and our group-learned lessons.  The question of God will likely never be answered (unless you believe in life after death, then maybe).  The question of murder becomes a question of context and perception vs. learned behaviors.   The will of the many usually usurp the rights of the few as has been demonstrated many times in human history—both recent and distant.  Sometimes it is the right thing to do, sometimes not. 

To teach...

Teaching is an art form.  Yes...art.  One must know a subject and how it interrelates in order to deconstruct it and help another to understand how to reconstruct it for themselves.  Recently, a friend asked me to proof some writing because, apparently, I am a great writer (thanks Teri).  This led me to "teaching" a bit of philosophy.  Not the "Socrates says" type of philosophy, but more the critical thinking kind of philosophy..."if god exists, is murder immoral?" type questions...I learned, firstly that I have a capacity to fundamentally understand philosophy, and secondly, that I really like teaching somebody a subject that I am passionate about.  This was confirmed earlier today when the same friend asked for math help.  It seems rather disparate at first, seeing that math is rule based and philosophy is not...or is it?  If we deconstruct the premise, we find that no matter the opinion or how emotional the topic, we still have to examine a philosophical topic the same way...every time.  So, in that sense there are rules (no matter how intangible) to understanding philosophy.  Though both, rigid and not rigid simultaneously, lead to critical examination.  When I say critical examination, I am not calling it fat or stupid, but rather looking at it from every possible perspective.  For example in the above question, there are really three topics rolled into one...does God exist?, what is the definition of murder?, and thirdly, what is morality.  The question of IF something intangible exists is the crux of the issue for me. In order to accept the second part of the question, you HAVE to accept the first as truth.  I like questions of morality.  I am a very liberal person when it comes to that stuff...I could care less about abortion (I cannot get pregnant), your religion (it is as good as you make it), how you rear your kids (do not bitch at me about his/her/their behavior), political leaning (prepare to debate me) or any of the other myriad of differences that make us exactly alike.  We are all full of biases loosely strung together with fear and knowledge.  That is what makes us unique.  My biases are mine...yours may or may not be similar, but they are not exactly the same.  I do not believe in God in the christian sense, though I do believe in god/goddess in the spiritual sense.  I got there not due to being taught that God is the creator, but rather being allowed to explore my own thoughts and biases and developing a moral code that works for me.  I am not going to judge you for alcoholism, obesity, or anything else, but remember, you do not have the right to judge mine either.  In the US, we are rather staunch about some things...God being one of them...(Puritan roots...who knew?)  Even our Constitution is a God/Religion based artifact.  That same document guarantees me the right to NOT believe.  I prefer to look at a thing from all sides...read all the good, bad, pretty, and ugly...then look at my biases and make a moral decision that I can live by...anyway...see what I mean...I need to teach...not because I am a genius (some think I am), but because I love the idea of expanding the potential of another individual.  Learning is something I like to do always.  Sometimes, just thinking about a thing can teach you something of it's nature...maybe I need to try to teach a class about that...just a thought.

missing mom

Tonight while sitting at my Mac, I smelled my mom.   That smell that is exclusive to YOUR mom.  That comforting, all in the world is safe, I love you smell.  I know that emotion is cemented with the senses of smell and sound...so am I imagining it or is it real?  I feel like it is real...why??  Because my mom was the type to want to know that all was well and she never believed a phone call...she had to see that all was ok...I miss her terribly...last week I cried...for the first time since her death...I mean I really cried the soul wrenching song of despair...I know she is better off...that changes nothing about how I feel...she was my champion...she was the one that embraced my differences and taught me to as well...despite the negative feedback from my father, I owe that to mom...she made me love myself for who I am...regardless what anyone else thought...There was a time not too long ago, when I got my mom to go watch the 4th of July fireworks...she really did not feel like it, but did for me and ended up really enjoying herself...I will miss times like that...the music, the festive atmosphere, the warmth...she loved...As I sit here writing this, I am teetering on tears...tears for the loss and tears for the memories...I remember her coming to my apartment a couple weeks before she died, and had dinner with me...I made corn chowder and cornbread...she loved my cornbread...wanted it every meal...every time i make it, I set aside a small piece for her...eventually I will be ok...someday I will not get emotional everytime I think of her or smell that smell that is MOM.