Tonight I was on FB (surprise there), chatting with friends. During the course of the conversation, a couple of topics came up--sex in a relationship, and artistic talent. Very odd conversations but I have very strong views about both topics. The original question about sex was "why is sex important in a relationship?" The answer is quite complex, though I gave it a quick and dirty answer--it is FB after all and we wouldn't want me to get in trouble, right? The answer I gave is that sex is supposed to be the physical representation of an emotional bond...but the answer is much more complex than that. When you are having sex, at no other time in a relationship are you more vulnerable and open to your partner. You are not only open physically, but you also leave yourself open to judgement, criticism, and comparison. Yes, we do tend to compare sex with A vs. sex with B--it is in our nature. Unless you are really drunk (and shouldn't be having sex anyway), are a prostitute (very dangerous!!), or are just a hit 'em and quit 'em kind of person, sex can be the most intimate thing you can share with another person. Personally, I do not think sex and emotions should go together. Emotions are messy and squishy and...aw hell...even someone as jaded as me has felt the love while having sex...it happens. I still think sex should be anonymous and free of emotion and Love should be only for the person you care about deeply...if you happen to have sex with that person, then you have hit the holy grail of relationships. But honestly, sex can get mechanical and repetitive unless there is a variety or you are really creative, even if you love the person.
OK, OK...I hear you...I am not saying that one should not strive for love and sex together, I am just saying that it should not be an expectation. I have loved many people and had sex with many (oh god) but have only loved one that I happen to have had sex with. I am open to it occurring again, but still not expecting anything.
The second topic was about artistic talent...I don't think of myself as especially talented. I know others that can create rings around me, yet, many say that I am very talented. Sure I have the penchant for having the right word at the right time and am kind of a Nazi with certain words (NU-clear and AUNT -as opposed to ant). I have been known to paint a picture without a drop of paint, just plain ordinary words organized on paper (please sub whatever media you like here--paper, napkin, computer screen, etc...). Is that a talent? I really do not think so...I learned it the same way that everyone else did (or should have, as it were), in school. I feel like the word talent means something that is a natural ability. There are folks out there that can hear a piece of music and can play it back by ear without ever having had musical training. That is talent. Artists that have never gotten formal training (think college-we all finger-painted) but can create a portrait in one minute and a half or 3D street art that is really terrifying to walk on (you really feel like you will fall off the precipice)--those folks have talent. I feel that any person, if they really slow down and think about what they want to say, can write. Anyone. A thing that I tend to do (or try to anyway) is to explain a feeling/mood/color/item/place without naming it directly, to a person that has never seen/felt/touched/been there. Using this method one can say that they love a person without ever uttering the word love...his presence ignites a fire in my body that no water can ever quench, but should he walk away unrequited, I shall fall to ash...it really is quite simple...
The next time someone asks you a question like the ones above, step back, think about it, and then speak. If you wish to have debate on any topic, please feel free to email me, and we will do just that...until the next time my brain itches, bye!
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Sunday, October 19, 2014
here we go again...
It is again that time of year when retailers begin selling 2 seasons away. What? Christmas shoppe already?? Yup. And I fear it will become earlier and earlier until the eventual decision to not take it down at all. The world is a mess right now. We have a dysfunctional Congress, an unpopular President, high cost of fuel, runaway inflation ad nauseum...and people that need 4 months to buy the unnecessary stuff that retailers are telling our kids that they need. It is ridiculous. Halloween is not even upon us yet, almost 2 weeks out, and already we have Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving and Halloween retailing. Why? When did "Christmas" become the time for retailers to recoup their losses all year? I remember as a kid the smell of pumpkin and the leaves as they fell from the trees in October. Never did I see Christmas anything until the week before Thanksgiving. Christmas was not about how much in debt you could get your parents in order to compete with the Joneses next door. It was about taking the time to think of what someone likes or dislikes and choosing a token gift (either making it or buying it) to let them know you think of them. The best Christmas I can ever remember was the year I got my see-n-say. I was about 5 or so and saw the commercials on Saturday (cartoon day for those too young to remember) and really wanted one. I never asked, but always when the commercial came on, my eyes lit up and my parents noticed. I didn't ever get tons of gifts, but usually got a toy and some clothes, but I was always happy. That Christmas when I opened up that see-n-say, I cried tears of joy because at that moment in time, there was nothing I wanted or needed to complete my happiness. Another year, my mom sewed Christmas. She and her best friend, literally decorated our plastic tree with homemade decorations that were sewn from used cloth. Our gifts that year were very simple. The boys got octopi and the girls got dolls. That was it. There was no money for the latest Atari or new bikes. The fact that mom went out of her way to make these things meant the world to me. Kids can be cruel though.
My mom always loved Christmas time. To her it was a time of family and love and cheer. For me it was a time of torment. Other kids in the school showing off all of the nifty things they got while all I had was an octopus. The other kids noticed that we had nothing and usually made fun of us poor kids. In my mind, it only cemented the idea that Christmas would never be to me what it was to most kids. I revel in the idea of neat personalized gifts that are tokens of my love or feelings for the person. I refuse to spend thousands of dollars to buy things for people I really don't like based on a calendar date. Instead, I will make something or share something with the people that mean something to me. They will know that the gift I give is from my heart and that I really thought about them. My gift will have sentimental value where others might have monetary value. Am I cheap? No, I am not. Give me a pretty leaf that made you think of me or share a digital picture of that time we did whatever...those things have substance and will last forever whereas these expensive cheaply made trinkets will not last the year. I think everyone needs to watch the Grinch this year and remember what the season is really about. It is about family and friends sharing their time here on earth, making memories, and sharing memories of those passed. So know that if you are my friend, you will likely not get anything more than a wish for happiness and prosperity, but know that the sentiment comes from my heart and not my wallet.
My mom always loved Christmas time. To her it was a time of family and love and cheer. For me it was a time of torment. Other kids in the school showing off all of the nifty things they got while all I had was an octopus. The other kids noticed that we had nothing and usually made fun of us poor kids. In my mind, it only cemented the idea that Christmas would never be to me what it was to most kids. I revel in the idea of neat personalized gifts that are tokens of my love or feelings for the person. I refuse to spend thousands of dollars to buy things for people I really don't like based on a calendar date. Instead, I will make something or share something with the people that mean something to me. They will know that the gift I give is from my heart and that I really thought about them. My gift will have sentimental value where others might have monetary value. Am I cheap? No, I am not. Give me a pretty leaf that made you think of me or share a digital picture of that time we did whatever...those things have substance and will last forever whereas these expensive cheaply made trinkets will not last the year. I think everyone needs to watch the Grinch this year and remember what the season is really about. It is about family and friends sharing their time here on earth, making memories, and sharing memories of those passed. So know that if you are my friend, you will likely not get anything more than a wish for happiness and prosperity, but know that the sentiment comes from my heart and not my wallet.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Does evil exist??
The simple answer to this question is no, it doesn't. Before you get all riled up, let me explain why. Humanity is made up of people, all of whom are somewhere on a behavioral spectrum from pure good all the way to pure evil...I use the term good and evil only to describe societally accepted extremes. Most people will fall in the middle somewhere where there is both good and evil in equal or about equal measure. If you look at a standard bell curve below, the 68% in the middle is where most people fall. on either side of that middle section is 14% either side where a person can be more left than right and vice versa. the remainder (at least for this essay) can be described as pure good or pure evil. Keep in mind, this is all based on the scientific principal of standard deviation. I am guessing that if one were to devise a survey with questions ranging from complete evil to complete good and ask these questions to a random sample, this deviation would be represented. Again these questions would be based on accepted societal definition of good and evil acts.
Now that we have defined the populace, we can get to the meat of my assertion that evil does in fact, not exist.
The above bell curve applies to nearly anything you care to challenge as long as humanity is involved. To prove my assertion, I am going to point out several situations that will require you the reader to think about your feelings of the scenario and rate it 1-10, with 1 being pure good and 10 being pure evil. Keep in mind, I am not trying to change your mind about anything except the original premise.
1.) You are on safari in Africa and are told by the guide that today there is a wedding in a village that you just happen to be visiting. The bride in this wedding is a lovely young woman of 11 years, and the groom is a very well respected 45 year old in the village. The bride will be the third wife of the groom. Is that wedding good or evil?
2.) In an Aboriginal tribe somewhere in the south Pacific, a ceremony of passing is being celebrated. The deceased will be cooked and served to his descendants as is their custom. The belief that consuming ones ancestor is to assure that their energy would continue to live in all of their relatives. Is this act of reverence good or evil?
3.)That same Aboriginal tribe, before cooking their ancestor, removed a portion of his skin. This skin was preserved and made into a drum skin. This drum becomes a ceremonial summoner of the spirits of the ancestor during rituals. Is this practice good or evil?
4.) Deep in the Brazilian jungle exists a tribe of pygmy. This day is a coming of age ceremony for a 9 year old girl that crossed over to womanhood by beginning menarche. The girl is laid down and is sexually penetrated by all adult males (all males in or past puberty) that are not related to her to ensure that the essence of her mate (that was chosen for her) could enter her womb and allow for a successful carriage of offspring. Is this ceremony good or evil?
For the purpose of argument, let us assume that each of these things are documented somewhere and are indeed factual situations. (I did just make them up for the purpose of illustration, but they could in fact exist)
The answer to all 4 questions is neither good nor evil. The participants of each of these situations is doing what has been culturally expected of them. It has been well documented that a number of places in the world (even today in the 21st century) marry their young girls off as soon as they reach menarche. It is also not uncommon for young girls to be involved in the sex trade. Not the same as a penetration ceremony, but similar in principal. As for the other two, I could see a ceremonial reason to use a part of an ancestor or consumption of said ancestor. I would think in the mind of the tribe, it would be a great honor to be consumed and used to make a drum so that my spirit would always have a place to go.
I guess the basis of this argument hinges on how much of a critical thinker you are and how rigid you are as far as morality is concerned. Personally I feel that it would be wrong of me to judge any of the four groups based on some archaic form of morality that does not even apply to the subjects. I feel that holding another to my standard of morality is inherently a negative prospect as the subjects have not experienced the things I have nor had the enlightenment that I have. It would be akin to holding a lion responsible for a child charging into the pride and getting killed. The lion did nothing it was not designed to do. It viewed the small human as a threat and dealt with it accordingly. We as a species need to step back and recognize our animal origins and remember that not too long ago (in the cosmic scale) we were not much more advanced than the lion and we killed far more quickly.
Now that I have explained a few things, let me put it into perspective. Humanity strives to label things to put them into some sort of classifiable structure. It is very hard for me to think of anyone that is pure evil or pure good. Think for a second...if we never had any negative occurrences (in our own perspective) then we could not by definition recognize a good occurrence. That is pretty much the only thing modern religion has gotten right (in my opinion). Humanity is flawed...we will do wrong (perceived) and violate the accepted moral standard that is Christianity.
I believe that we are all a bit of everything. We can be cold as ice one minute and warm and fuzzy the next. We kill to survive (meat animals) and we kill to protect ourselves. It is neither good nor evil as we are doing what we were designed to do. Humanity is designed to be both good and evil (per our invented scale of morality).
So, as a recap, evil does not exist because we are doing what we were designed to do according to our own cultural norms and have arbitrarily assigned one extreme as evil and the other as good, when in reality the vast majority are somewhere in the middle of the bell curve.
Something to think about, huh?
Now that we have defined the populace, we can get to the meat of my assertion that evil does in fact, not exist.
The above bell curve applies to nearly anything you care to challenge as long as humanity is involved. To prove my assertion, I am going to point out several situations that will require you the reader to think about your feelings of the scenario and rate it 1-10, with 1 being pure good and 10 being pure evil. Keep in mind, I am not trying to change your mind about anything except the original premise.
1.) You are on safari in Africa and are told by the guide that today there is a wedding in a village that you just happen to be visiting. The bride in this wedding is a lovely young woman of 11 years, and the groom is a very well respected 45 year old in the village. The bride will be the third wife of the groom. Is that wedding good or evil?
2.) In an Aboriginal tribe somewhere in the south Pacific, a ceremony of passing is being celebrated. The deceased will be cooked and served to his descendants as is their custom. The belief that consuming ones ancestor is to assure that their energy would continue to live in all of their relatives. Is this act of reverence good or evil?
3.)That same Aboriginal tribe, before cooking their ancestor, removed a portion of his skin. This skin was preserved and made into a drum skin. This drum becomes a ceremonial summoner of the spirits of the ancestor during rituals. Is this practice good or evil?
4.) Deep in the Brazilian jungle exists a tribe of pygmy. This day is a coming of age ceremony for a 9 year old girl that crossed over to womanhood by beginning menarche. The girl is laid down and is sexually penetrated by all adult males (all males in or past puberty) that are not related to her to ensure that the essence of her mate (that was chosen for her) could enter her womb and allow for a successful carriage of offspring. Is this ceremony good or evil?
For the purpose of argument, let us assume that each of these things are documented somewhere and are indeed factual situations. (I did just make them up for the purpose of illustration, but they could in fact exist)
The answer to all 4 questions is neither good nor evil. The participants of each of these situations is doing what has been culturally expected of them. It has been well documented that a number of places in the world (even today in the 21st century) marry their young girls off as soon as they reach menarche. It is also not uncommon for young girls to be involved in the sex trade. Not the same as a penetration ceremony, but similar in principal. As for the other two, I could see a ceremonial reason to use a part of an ancestor or consumption of said ancestor. I would think in the mind of the tribe, it would be a great honor to be consumed and used to make a drum so that my spirit would always have a place to go.
I guess the basis of this argument hinges on how much of a critical thinker you are and how rigid you are as far as morality is concerned. Personally I feel that it would be wrong of me to judge any of the four groups based on some archaic form of morality that does not even apply to the subjects. I feel that holding another to my standard of morality is inherently a negative prospect as the subjects have not experienced the things I have nor had the enlightenment that I have. It would be akin to holding a lion responsible for a child charging into the pride and getting killed. The lion did nothing it was not designed to do. It viewed the small human as a threat and dealt with it accordingly. We as a species need to step back and recognize our animal origins and remember that not too long ago (in the cosmic scale) we were not much more advanced than the lion and we killed far more quickly.
Now that I have explained a few things, let me put it into perspective. Humanity strives to label things to put them into some sort of classifiable structure. It is very hard for me to think of anyone that is pure evil or pure good. Think for a second...if we never had any negative occurrences (in our own perspective) then we could not by definition recognize a good occurrence. That is pretty much the only thing modern religion has gotten right (in my opinion). Humanity is flawed...we will do wrong (perceived) and violate the accepted moral standard that is Christianity.
I believe that we are all a bit of everything. We can be cold as ice one minute and warm and fuzzy the next. We kill to survive (meat animals) and we kill to protect ourselves. It is neither good nor evil as we are doing what we were designed to do. Humanity is designed to be both good and evil (per our invented scale of morality).
So, as a recap, evil does not exist because we are doing what we were designed to do according to our own cultural norms and have arbitrarily assigned one extreme as evil and the other as good, when in reality the vast majority are somewhere in the middle of the bell curve.
Something to think about, huh?
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