integrity, honesty, and other valorous traits...

In the past couple of weeks, there have been numerous things did not work out as was planned.  I understand that sometimes things come up and plans that were committed to can fall by the wayside.  That is not to say I am getting discouraged...not at all.  I am just frustrated that some folks can make an agreement, sign documents, prepare for the transaction, then all of a sudden decide that it is not what they want at this time.  When plans are made and situations arranged for, it is nearly impossible to feel optimistic when things are as solid as quicksand.

I am not one of those folks that have to plan every second, but I have a hard time with change.  So when I have arranged and psyched myself into accepting a potential change, it is really hard to trust the next time.  For a person with anxiety and depression, it is hard to make changes to routine anyway, when you add the indecision and inconsistency of others, it can make life hard to live.

I can be spontaneous, but not when it comes to things that make me uncomfortable.  For example, I am not afraid to try new foods or try a new operating system, but if it comes down to my feeling of security, I can get panicky.  Some things are safe to try new, others not so much.  So for now, I am gonna sit on my hands, and hope that the next attempt at making a significant change goes according to plan, or at least not go so far awry that it causes me to have an anxiety attack or bout of depression.  

Optimism is easy to talk about, but hard to implement, especially for those with mental disorders such as depression and anxiety.  Be patient and try to follow through...if it is not possible, the earlier we know the better...

Xopher.

Expectations

Every person alive has expectations.  We expect a person to respond a certain way to certain situations.  Many times, because of expectations, we get mad when things do not go as expected.   Some folks have learned how to not expect anything and rarely get upset, though they are very much in the minority.  Sometimes these expectations get in the way of relationships.  Not just romantic relationships, but also friendships, sibling and other familial interactions, and even at work.  Expectations are a learned behavior.  We as humans, learn by example.  We learn how our families do things and throw those expectations into the mix which almost always causes a ruckus.  The key to living in society is to accept people as they are, not how you want them to be, and when there is a difference, try to learn why that difference is important to the other person.  It could be that Grandma taught someone how to make something a specific way, and yours did it differently.  There is no reason both situations cannot be correct.  Maybe it is a way of keeping the memory of Grandma alive to that person.  Even I am guilty of pushing my expectations on others.  I am a night person.  Others around me are very early morning people.  It is wrong of either to expect that everything has to be done either morning or night.  Why can't we compromise and try doing something in the middle...not too early and not too late?  There are also cultural differences that can influence expectations.  People that grew up in the northeast cook a specific way.  Their food tends to be richer and more carb based than other places.  In the south, there is a tendency toward eating more vegetables and lesser cuts of meat.  Seasonings tend to be more fatty and salty.  In the west, there is a heavy influence of Mexican culture.  Their food tends to be more spicy and utilize more staples than in other places.  Meat is important, but corn and beans are used very frequently in their cooking.  The point is, whether you grew up in the north, south, east, or west, there is not right or wrong way to prepare food.  I myself am influenced by all of them.  I like vegetables-read that as greens and beans-I love Mexican food, and I do like my soups prepared New England style.  I am just as guilty as the rest of imposing my expectations on others, especially with food.

If every person were to understand why we expect and how to compromise, the world would be a much better place.  We are all victims of our past.  The key is to recognize that each person is entitled to be who they are without being expected to conform to some other person's idea of normal.  America is built on every other culture in the world.  We do not have a native culture.  The culture of the USA is an amalgam of all the other cultures that are here, and their interactions toward one another.  It is not perfect.  We still have racism, sexism, and other social stigma to overcome, but as a whole, I thing we are moving the right direction if only we could get individuals to embrace differences and try to compromise more.