dividing by zero

I am amazed by the folks around me that think that I am amazing.  People say things like "I wish I had 1/3 of your intelligence" or "you are so smart"...I don't see it...all I am is a person that likes to learn new things and am actually quite adept at it...there is really nothing special about that...on a daily basis, I find myself doing something that in retrospect, is highly stupid and I laugh out loud about it.  I have friends all over the country that will not allow anyone to work on their computer but me...keep in mind, some of these folks live 2,000 miles away...yet somehow, I always amaze them at how fast I knew what he issue was or how fast I discovered the problem, fixing it with a couple clicks of the mouse...I don't see that as amazing...any tech person worth their education can do it just as quickly and easily as me, yet I am the one they call...I wonder how much of it is my intelligence or learning...perhaps it could be the way that I try to make folks understand what I am doing and why it should be done...as an intellectual elitist (yes, I am aware, that comment will upset some folks), I have had many years experience trying to explain difficult and sometimes abstract concepts to people that have a hard time visualizing a cube without pen, paper, or an artifact to hold in their hand...my mom used to tell me that her friends all appreciated that I could explain anything without making them feel stupid...I continually spend time learning and researching things and have an ability to visualize relationships or how things relate to each other and the concept I am trying to explain...perhaps I just know how to treat a person like a person and have respect for others abilities...I am no genius (ok, so I might be), but I do realize that every person has a different set of experiences and knowledge...one might be a whiz at weaving or origami or any number of things that I wish I knew how to do...I guess it just comes down to respecting folks...I appreciate it when folks respect my knowledge and I will always return the favor...so maybe I am not dividing by zero after all...

Warts and all...

Having been on FB and other social networking sites, it is not hard to find somebody griping about something...their bf, gf, bff, politics, school, boss, or somebody else altogether.  It is the what we do not see that I am writing about today.  You see, every person you know has issues that they do not share with anyone, even you.  It is easy to forget that.  You might not know that person X has a spot on their lung that they are concerned about, or that person Y is going through a custody battle, or that person C is a caregiver for an ailing parent.  Not everyone shares all of their issues with the world, even in this day and age of instant communication.  We have become accustomed to sharing nearly every aspect of our lives with the masses, while secretly fighting our own personal battles.  Sometimes we get snarky to a friend or make an off-hand comment that can be the catalyst for an unintentional emotional rift to develop.  That funny little comment can be the straw that broke the camel's back, or in this case, the emotional tilting point.  I have some very close friends--many of whom I have known for decades.  I have also had the misfortune of both being the aggressor and the target of the aggression caused by invisible trauma that only the involved persons know about.  Today I had the misfortune of correcting a friend's grammar in a post--something I have done a million times before without consequence--and because I did not know that they were having a crisis day, I really upset that person.  This could have turned into a battle of the bitches, but thankfully it did not because after chatting a bit, I discovered what the problem was and felt like an ass, but was soon forgiven because that friend also realized that I did not know about it and that it was an innocent comment.  Our friendship will endure past this and all will be well (I hope) on the other end...

I did not write this to point at any specific person, nor to recommend walking on eggshells around everyone.  I wrote this to point out that we all have our demons and that sometimes, our demons like to get in the middle of things.  If we recognize that every snarky comment or harsh response is not a personal attack, then friendships will become stronger and that same thing that could almost destroy a beautiful friendship will help to keep it from breaking in the future.  Scarred flesh and bone is always stronger than undamaged.  I love all of my friends...and know they love me...warts and all.

something a little different...

This post I decided to do something a bit different...I decided to contrast my experiences with certain technologies...more specifically, Windows, MAC, Linux operating systems...I am not going to go too much into Android, iOS, or Win8 because frankly, I have never used anything but Android...but, if someone is willing to give me an iPhone (or iPod touch) or a Win8 phone, I would gladly delve into that arena as well..so for now, desktop/laptop OSes only. 

First on my list is the Windows machine.  It can be housed in just about any kind of case or configuration.  Therefore, it is a hard one to describe...other than to say that a huge percentage of the world uses it to get things done...most businesses run almost entirely (except for web-servers which are mostly Linux servers) on Windows platform.  Today (August of 2014), Windows 7 is the clear choice of OS with some die-hard WinXP fans still running the dinosaur...I even saw a Win98 machine the other day.  Windows Vista was almost as big a bust as Win2000 (not to say MS did not give it a hell of a try).   It was not because of the lack of features (Win7 is almost identical to Vista...minus the bugs that is) but rather because it was a radical change from hat Windows people were used to in WinXP.  Funny thing is that WinXP was just as radical a change and harbored just as much complaining.  Soon after all the driver issues were worked out, WinXP became the best selling and most widely used OS in the world (or at least the USA).

Next on my list is Linux.  Linux is a horse of a different color in that it is free...as in it is free to modify or change the source-code in any way that is desired with the simple rule that it must include the GNU license agreement.  That's it.  As for usability, there are apps for just about any task that a Win user might need but is slim on gaming.  That is not to say that there are no games, just that the mainstream has left out this niche market.  There are projects out there WiNE, Cedega, and Crossover that will allow the use of certain Win only programs (performance is not guaranteed) with a bit of tweaking.  As for how it looks, Linux seems to be following Windows for familiar design elements and to draw users from that market.  That is not to say that Linux looks like nor behaves like Windows as it clearly does not.  If you bring it to it's inner workings (minus all the fluff--read that as GUI) it behaves more like BSD which is to say like Unix...lost?  Just take my word for it or search G? for the answer to that question...I personally like the ability to make it look the way I want it to look while still being able to do what I need to get done...That being said, it is not my favorite OS.

For many years I preached the goodness and light that was Microsoft...then I went to school...Sure...MS machines are so easy to build (Linux will also run on any variation of any type machine from PPC to Intel) and will install anything with one click (got me into more trouble than I can relay here...)but for pure functionality, design, and purpose, MAC OSX wins it hands down.  Yeah yeah I know...Mac is sooo expensive, but I have a PPC G3 tower that will boot up even now...and run...sure software makers have abandoned support, but there are still people out there running OSX Tiger and yes even OS9...But I digress...OSX has only gotten better over time...no radical changes though many improvements for function...the dock is still there, the software installs the same as always, and the look of the windows have not changed throughout all the versions from Tiger all the way to Mavericks...OSX was engineered for graphics and audio processing and does a phenomenal job at it, but where I find that OSX shines is in gaming.  Yup, I said gaming.  I recently discovered gaming on my Mac.  The graphics processing power rival anything that Win or Lin could ever come up with and to top it all off, companies that have included Mac in their development are thriving.  Blizzard is one and EA Games is another that have consistently provided BOTH PC and Mac (though sadly still not Linux) supported games.  Most famously, the Warcraft franchise from Blizzard and The Sims (1, 2, and 3--soon to be 4) all run a Mac client.  Having played these games on both platforms, I find the Mac platform to be more stable and graphics to be more flowing than with Windows.  Windows also has some amazing games--Everquest franchise anyone?  While it did at one time have an original Everquest Mac client, it no longer supports anything but Windows clients. 

In summary, I like all three of the different types of OSes.  Each has benefit and potential to be the best...though if I had to choose one to promote, it would be OSX.  Not for simplicity or ease of use, but for design and function.  I like that OSX  does not try to re-invent the wheel with every new release nor does it try to be anything more than what it is...a great Graphic User Interface that just works.  Microsoft could take some pointers from Mac in that respect and both could use a bit more open-source loving like Linux, but dollar for dollar, OSX wins for me.

Perception vs Reality

Many times in life, I have been challenged.  Not because I do not see the same things others see, but because I see those things differently.  Typically in any situation, you could ask 10 people to witness a scene and they will all remember something different.  Why is that?  I believe the answer lies in a person's past experience and what is important to them.  If a person sees a particular event, the things that are relateable to that individual are going to make the most of an impression to them and therefore make that the most memorable part to them.  That is not to say that their perspective is skewed or even incorrect.  Many times I have commented on perspective and reality...each person's perception is their reality, more specifically.  If ten people see a robbery, not one pair will have seen the same thing...Let's say Person A is an English teacher and the robber uses poor grammar...that teacher might have seen what he was wearing, but the fact that he had horrible grammar was most relateable to Person A and therefore Person A might only remember the grammar.  Person B might work in retail somewhere and see mismatched clothing and think "how could they leave the house like that?"  The same principal can pertain to how people react to situations rather than events.  Humans tend to look to their past for cues on how to react to situations and events.  We take learned biases, personal experience, shared experiences, and relayed reactions all into consideration before reacting.  We cannot form a frame of reference for something we have not experienced either directly or indirectly.  I personally have never been to the moon, but from relayed experiences I can assume that it is cold, airless, and very low gravity.  I have been to the desert and know that it gets really cold at night despite the extreme hot temperatures during the day.  These are all examples of my perspective.  They are real to me because I give them weight.  I believe that alien cultures could exist.  Does that mean that ET exists?  Not at all.  It merely means that according to my learned behaviors, relayed experiences, personal experiences, and maybe educational learning, that it would be unlikely that we would be the only beings in the universe.  Therefore, my reality says that existence of humanity in the universe cannot possibly be singular and that similarly intelligence is not unique to us.

I know I delved into a bit of rhetorical thinking, but it does prove the point.  As you are reading this, you are comparing my viewpoint with your learned behaviors, relayed experiences, personal experiences, and maybe educational learning to see whether we feel the same way about the material. 

I am a critical thinker.  You can tell me something all day long and truly believe it, but until I can validate the conjecture for myself through study, relayed experiences or personal experiences, I will treat the material as suspect.  That does not mean that the material is any less valid to you...just that in order for me to believe it, I need a bit of research and examination to draw a conclusion.

This is my perception of reality. 

A treatise on morlity, God, and murder

15 July 2014

·      If God exists, is murder immoral?

·      Can those who do not believe in God be highly moral people?

·      Can people who practice different religions agree about how to resolve a moral disagreement?

In order to answer these questions, I need to fully understand each part of the question.  While reading the questions, several other questions come to the front:

1.     Does God exist?

2.     What exactly is murder?

3.     What does Moral mean?

4.     Can morality be based on other criterion than the belief in God?

5.     On that premise, can persons with differing religious belief resolve a moral dispute?

The new questions develop a new path of understanding by first delving into what a moral is.  A moral is defined as a societal code of conduct based on religious, familial, or societal standards applied to individual behavior, over the course of time (http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/morality-definition/).  In this definition the existence of God is not contemplated, nor is it necessary, to answer the question.  In our world there are societies of individuals that have developed vastly different moral standards.  In the USA, for example, morality tends to be based on a religious platform and applied to all persons in the form of Laws.  In the USA it is illegal to “murder” someone though as yet I have not defined the term, therefore, by default it is immoral.  If one were to take a more Eastern view, it might be discovered that what we as a society find objectionable, is perfectly in-line with their culture and customs and therefore, not immoral.  So morality has no specific meaning other than that it is the cultural norm or custom as applied to individual behavior over time.

The second phase of the question comes to whether God exists. This question has plagued scholars for centuries and is not likely to be resolved any time soon.  In that light, one should look to their own belief structure to decide for themselves if God exists.  For this essay, I will illustrate both viewpoints.   Utilizing that method of breakdown and examination, I will determine what a moral is to me and how fluid the decisions can be based on the context of a given situation.

For the third part of the question, I will think about what murder is and how the term came to be what we as a people have come to believe it means.  Taking the life of another is a very big decision and should not be done lightly.  There are many conditions where the taking of a life would be necessary to ensure the safety of my family or myself.  Is it morally acceptable?  I think it really depends on the circumstance.  Would I lie in wait in a park for a jogger to kill?  Likely, I would not.  Would I kill the person trying to kill the jogger?  Probably so…but why would the second scenario be okay when the first is not? 

We learned earlier that morality is an artificial construct of societal learning applied to similar situations. Due to the herd mentality of humanity, I believe that morality can be a useful tool if exercised in the proper context.  In the above scenario of the jogger in the park, it would be morally wrong to kill the jogger but not the mugger.  In that case, I have seen that the jogger is in danger, looked to my morals for guidance and reacted in a way that would be societally acceptable.  But is it morally acceptable?  In my own mind, I would feel remorse for killing anyone—deserved or not.  I would not, however, feel the killing as unjust.  My reasons have nothing to do with legality or even a sense of right or wrong, but rather have a root in my religious viewpoint.  I am not a Christian.  I do not believe in the God of the Bible.  Do I have a moral code?  Yes, I do.  My moral code is based in the natural cycle of life and what it means to be human.  I believe that if all creatures do no harm to others, except when a reaction is required to counter the action of another, which would result in harm to my self, or family, then it is just.  My belief is that all things deserve to live and exist in a natural balance.  To be more precise, good and evil, light and dark, happy and sad all need to co-exist in balance.  I cannot fault the lion for killing the antelope as it is in his nature to kill the antelope to feed himself and his pride.  

Perspective and reasoning separate humanity from animals.  Perspective is the way a situation or event is seen, judged and reacted to or not, based on the experience of the perceiver.  Reasoning is the decision to react or not to a perceived event or situation.  If I do this, then that will happen—based on past experience.  With this information, we then can logically decide if the reaction is warranted by the action.

Assuming that I am Pagan, Buddhist, or any other non-Christian religion and you are Christian, can we resolve a moral dilemma?  I believe we can.  Morality, we said, is a societal structure based on cultural norms and that morality is independent of the existence of the belief, or lack thereof, in God.  Leaving religion out of the equation results in utilization of our perception and reasoning to help us make the moral call.  By relying on past experiences, in our perception, (learned individually and via a group) we can decide if a reaction to a situation is moral or not.  For example, we are in Mexico where it is customary to pay-off a police officer to prevent arrest.  In the United States it is not only immoral but also illegal.  In Mexico, bribes are a cultural norm.  Based on the context of the situation, bribery would not be immoral if I were in Mexico, it would be expected. 

The last apple to fall from the tree of discussion is the one of murder.  What is murder?  In Western culture, murder is perceived as the causing of the death of another either directly or indirectly.  In some Eastern cultures, the causing of a death is not always murder.  Recently in the news, we have heard of women in the Middle East that have been executed for adopting western views on education, civil rights, ownership, and adultery.  Not only is it not immoral that they kill their family member, honor demands that they do.  Traditionally speaking, murder is not as cut and dry as it seems.  Moral dilemma such as abortion, euthanasia, assisted suicide and brain death have all resulted in moral conflict.  Some feel that abortion is the killing of a human before it is born others feel that the fetus is nothing more than a parasitic cell structure until it is able to exist outside the host.  Euthanasia in some cultures (Japan specifically) is considered a way to regain family honor by removing, honorably, the cause of the dishonor.  Assisted suicide and right to die advocates claim that it is our basic right to decide whether we live or die and no person or jurisdiction has the right to dictate otherwise.  We all know of cases where the patient is brain dead but still biologically functioning.  Do we allow them to starve or do we keep feeding the living corpse forever?  What does your moral compass say?

The answer to the original question therefore becomes convoluted and distorted by reason and intellect.  I personally do not believe in God, but I do have a deity.  Do I think murder is immoral?  Not always.  There can be a rational reason to commit murder (in the defined sense) just as there are reasonable arguments for or against just about anything that is generally considered immoral.  The question of whether it is immoral to murder becomes why did the murder take place?  Was the murdered trying to murder the murderer?  Did the killer perceive danger to himself or his family?  Did the killer believe in God?

The topic of morality is very broad and cannot possibly be covered conclusively in a short paper essay.  However, a general idea can be gleaned from our past experiences and our group-learned lessons.  The question of God will likely never be answered (unless you believe in life after death, then maybe).  The question of murder becomes a question of context and perception vs. learned behaviors.   The will of the many usually usurp the rights of the few as has been demonstrated many times in human history—both recent and distant.  Sometimes it is the right thing to do, sometimes not. 

To teach...

Teaching is an art form.  Yes...art.  One must know a subject and how it interrelates in order to deconstruct it and help another to understand how to reconstruct it for themselves.  Recently, a friend asked me to proof some writing because, apparently, I am a great writer (thanks Teri).  This led me to "teaching" a bit of philosophy.  Not the "Socrates says" type of philosophy, but more the critical thinking kind of philosophy..."if god exists, is murder immoral?" type questions...I learned, firstly that I have a capacity to fundamentally understand philosophy, and secondly, that I really like teaching somebody a subject that I am passionate about.  This was confirmed earlier today when the same friend asked for math help.  It seems rather disparate at first, seeing that math is rule based and philosophy is not...or is it?  If we deconstruct the premise, we find that no matter the opinion or how emotional the topic, we still have to examine a philosophical topic the same way...every time.  So, in that sense there are rules (no matter how intangible) to understanding philosophy.  Though both, rigid and not rigid simultaneously, lead to critical examination.  When I say critical examination, I am not calling it fat or stupid, but rather looking at it from every possible perspective.  For example in the above question, there are really three topics rolled into one...does God exist?, what is the definition of murder?, and thirdly, what is morality.  The question of IF something intangible exists is the crux of the issue for me. In order to accept the second part of the question, you HAVE to accept the first as truth.  I like questions of morality.  I am a very liberal person when it comes to that stuff...I could care less about abortion (I cannot get pregnant), your religion (it is as good as you make it), how you rear your kids (do not bitch at me about his/her/their behavior), political leaning (prepare to debate me) or any of the other myriad of differences that make us exactly alike.  We are all full of biases loosely strung together with fear and knowledge.  That is what makes us unique.  My biases are mine...yours may or may not be similar, but they are not exactly the same.  I do not believe in God in the christian sense, though I do believe in god/goddess in the spiritual sense.  I got there not due to being taught that God is the creator, but rather being allowed to explore my own thoughts and biases and developing a moral code that works for me.  I am not going to judge you for alcoholism, obesity, or anything else, but remember, you do not have the right to judge mine either.  In the US, we are rather staunch about some things...God being one of them...(Puritan roots...who knew?)  Even our Constitution is a God/Religion based artifact.  That same document guarantees me the right to NOT believe.  I prefer to look at a thing from all sides...read all the good, bad, pretty, and ugly...then look at my biases and make a moral decision that I can live by...anyway...see what I mean...I need to teach...not because I am a genius (some think I am), but because I love the idea of expanding the potential of another individual.  Learning is something I like to do always.  Sometimes, just thinking about a thing can teach you something of it's nature...maybe I need to try to teach a class about that...just a thought.

missing mom

Tonight while sitting at my Mac, I smelled my mom.   That smell that is exclusive to YOUR mom.  That comforting, all in the world is safe, I love you smell.  I know that emotion is cemented with the senses of smell and sound...so am I imagining it or is it real?  I feel like it is real...why??  Because my mom was the type to want to know that all was well and she never believed a phone call...she had to see that all was ok...I miss her terribly...last week I cried...for the first time since her death...I mean I really cried the soul wrenching song of despair...I know she is better off...that changes nothing about how I feel...she was my champion...she was the one that embraced my differences and taught me to as well...despite the negative feedback from my father, I owe that to mom...she made me love myself for who I am...regardless what anyone else thought...There was a time not too long ago, when I got my mom to go watch the 4th of July fireworks...she really did not feel like it, but did for me and ended up really enjoying herself...I will miss times like that...the music, the festive atmosphere, the warmth...she loved...As I sit here writing this, I am teetering on tears...tears for the loss and tears for the memories...I remember her coming to my apartment a couple weeks before she died, and had dinner with me...I made corn chowder and cornbread...she loved my cornbread...wanted it every meal...every time i make it, I set aside a small piece for her...eventually I will be ok...someday I will not get emotional everytime I think of her or smell that smell that is MOM.