Out of my mind

Have you ever just had one of those days when you should never have opened your eyes?  When the passive aggressive behaviour gets so thick that you find it hard to see anything to be positive about except that bedtime is coming and thank god for doors??  I am so tired of feeling like crap, feeling like a visitor, and feeling like nothing that I might want matters...there are some days when I find it hard to WANT to climb out of bed...I go to sleep usually at around 3am...why?  because the only peace I can get is when everyone in the house is asleep or in their space for the night...I try so hard to keep the peace and to do things to make life easier for all and I never get recognition for any of it...the only thing I ever get recognized for is the one thing I DID NOT do...I am very nearly ready to walk away from all of it and find a new place to exist...existence is easy...living is hard...I really could care less about anything in my life right now...and existing in the constant negativity and passive aggressive atmosphere is killing me and my spirit...I used to think that I could do anything...now I don't even know why I ever thought I could or would even bother...it will not matter...not to me or anyone that I know...If you see me around...ignore me...I don't exist or matter....not to anyone...