In the past couple of weeks, there have been numerous things did not work out as was planned. I understand that sometimes things come up and plans that were committed to can fall by the wayside. That is not to say I am getting discouraged...not at all. I am just frustrated that some folks can make an agreement, sign documents, prepare for the transaction, then all of a sudden decide that it is not what they want at this time. When plans are made and situations arranged for, it is nearly impossible to feel optimistic when things are as solid as quicksand.
I am not one of those folks that have to plan every second, but I have a hard time with change. So when I have arranged and psyched myself into accepting a potential change, it is really hard to trust the next time. For a person with anxiety and depression, it is hard to make changes to routine anyway, when you add the indecision and inconsistency of others, it can make life hard to live.
I can be spontaneous, but not when it comes to things that make me uncomfortable. For example, I am not afraid to try new foods or try a new operating system, but if it comes down to my feeling of security, I can get panicky. Some things are safe to try new, others not so much. So for now, I am gonna sit on my hands, and hope that the next attempt at making a significant change goes according to plan, or at least not go so far awry that it causes me to have an anxiety attack or bout of depression.
Optimism is easy to talk about, but hard to implement, especially for those with mental disorders such as depression and anxiety. Be patient and try to follow through...if it is not possible, the earlier we know the better...
Xopher.
No comments:
Post a Comment