Tonight I was on FB (surprise there), chatting with friends. During the course of the conversation, a couple of topics came up--sex in a relationship, and artistic talent. Very odd conversations but I have very strong views about both topics. The original question about sex was "why is sex important in a relationship?" The answer is quite complex, though I gave it a quick and dirty answer--it is FB after all and we wouldn't want me to get in trouble, right? The answer I gave is that sex is supposed to be the physical representation of an emotional bond...but the answer is much more complex than that. When you are having sex, at no other time in a relationship are you more vulnerable and open to your partner. You are not only open physically, but you also leave yourself open to judgement, criticism, and comparison. Yes, we do tend to compare sex with A vs. sex with B--it is in our nature. Unless you are really drunk (and shouldn't be having sex anyway), are a prostitute (very dangerous!!), or are just a hit 'em and quit 'em kind of person, sex can be the most intimate thing you can share with another person. Personally, I do not think sex and emotions should go together. Emotions are messy and squishy and...aw hell...even someone as jaded as me has felt the love while having sex...it happens. I still think sex should be anonymous and free of emotion and Love should be only for the person you care about deeply...if you happen to have sex with that person, then you have hit the holy grail of relationships. But honestly, sex can get mechanical and repetitive unless there is a variety or you are really creative, even if you love the person.
OK, OK...I hear you...I am not saying that one should not strive for love and sex together, I am just saying that it should not be an expectation. I have loved many people and had sex with many (oh god) but have only loved one that I happen to have had sex with. I am open to it occurring again, but still not expecting anything.
The second topic was about artistic talent...I don't think of myself as especially talented. I know others that can create rings around me, yet, many say that I am very talented. Sure I have the penchant for having the right word at the right time and am kind of a Nazi with certain words (NU-clear and AUNT -as opposed to ant). I have been known to paint a picture without a drop of paint, just plain ordinary words organized on paper (please sub whatever media you like here--paper, napkin, computer screen, etc...). Is that a talent? I really do not think so...I learned it the same way that everyone else did (or should have, as it were), in school. I feel like the word talent means something that is a natural ability. There are folks out there that can hear a piece of music and can play it back by ear without ever having had musical training. That is talent. Artists that have never gotten formal training (think college-we all finger-painted) but can create a portrait in one minute and a half or 3D street art that is really terrifying to walk on (you really feel like you will fall off the precipice)--those folks have talent. I feel that any person, if they really slow down and think about what they want to say, can write. Anyone. A thing that I tend to do (or try to anyway) is to explain a feeling/mood/color/item/place without naming it directly, to a person that has never seen/felt/touched/been there. Using this method one can say that they love a person without ever uttering the word love...his presence ignites a fire in my body that no water can ever quench, but should he walk away unrequited, I shall fall to ash...it really is quite simple...
The next time someone asks you a question like the ones above, step back, think about it, and then speak. If you wish to have debate on any topic, please feel free to email me, and we will do just that...until the next time my brain itches, bye!
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